A Not So Distant Memory
I thought long and hard about sharing this after I read the news of the supreme court’s
decision this morning. But I know that there are other women out there who are undoubtedly struggling with the fear of opening up, and for that reason I decided that it was time for me to speak up. Years ago I was in a relationship with my high school sweetheart, we moved in together when I was only 17 years old. At the time it seemed that our damaged hearts would be able to repair the pain that attracted us to each other in the first place, but we can’t heal from things we aren’t willing to acknowledge. After months of his drinking increasingly getting out of hand, he turned to Cocaine which caused him to become angry and eventually violent with me on multiple occasions. I found myself trapped in a hell of my own making. By the time I was 18, despite being on the depo shot I also found myself pregnant. When I finally got the courage to tell him, the news, it was not well received I remember the resentment in his voice when he said I had to get rid of the baby. I refused, we bickered. My choice of words enraged him enough to punched me in the face, throw me through a closet and slammed against a wall. I spent the night in that closet, terrified for my life and my babies.
I hadn’t wanted or planned for this baby, but I was far enough along to where I was already attached, I was far enough along that if given the opportunity I would have been able to know if I was expecting a boy or a girl I secretly went to the doctor the next day to check on the baby and was told that I was in the process of a miscarriage, and it required a procedure (an abortion) to remove the tissue b4 it caused issues that would be detrimental to my health. Not having insurance, money, a support system and seemingly no way out I went to planned parenthood where they were able to perform the procedure for only $129.00 If you find it odd that I still remember the number, then maybe you’re not grasping the tremendous impact that going through something like this forever has on you. I still remember the smell of the room, and the sound of the doctor’s voice as she walked me through what I was going to experience. I remember my friend whispering in my ear that everything will be ok as she held my hand and the tears rolled down my cheek. Listen, I know that this subject is a touchy subject, but everyone has the right to their opinion, and EVERYONE should have the right to their own choice. I pray that as a mother of 3 daughters that they never find themselves in a situation like mine, where they have to make that difficult choice. But in the event that they do, it terrifies me to think of the dangerous options this decision has left all women with. Pro-Choice does not mean Pro-Abortion but it does mean every women should have the right to choose what is best for them.